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Counterfeit Computer Security Consultant
Item #187378743
Show description
Currently $9,999,999.00 (reserve met) First bid $5.00
Quantity 1 # of bids 9 (bid history) (with emails)
Time left 8 days, 20 hours + Location Behind the dumpsters in Tijuana, Mexico
Started 10/24/99, 10:06:33 PDT envelope (mail this auction to a friend)
Ends 11/03/99, 09:06:33 PST [Gift Alert] (request a gift alert)
Seller jpdaplaya (0) mask
(view comments in seller's Feedback Profile)  (view seller's other auctions)  (ask seller a question)
High bid uid-0 (0) mask
PaymentVisa/MasterCard, American Express, Discover, Money Order/Cashiers Checks, COD (collect on delivery), Personal Checks, Online escrow, Other, See item description for payment methods accepted
ShippingSeller ships internationally, See item description for shipping charges

Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Currency is U.S. dollar ($) unless otherwise noted.
Now available to you for whatever change you're willing to dig out of your sofa for it: one decrepit, fraudulent, and ugly so-called computer security consultant. Her name is Carolyn, but also answers to 'crackwhore'. May be housebroken, but no-one's really sure yet since nobody seems to want it in their house.

Ain't it repulsive?

Anyway, if you'd really like to own this broken-down pile of falsehoods and deceit, throw a few cents onto the auction. Hell, if you're the lucky bidder I'll even throw in a burlap bag and a few bricks for when you eventually get bored with it (or sober up) and decide to drown it.

Yep, still ugly.

Aw, c'mon, just bid on her, goddamit. Let her think *someone* cares about her. Well, OK, maybe not, but I sure as hell don't want it around here anymore. I'll even throw in a gimp for good measure. He can lecture, patronise, and come across as a complete dork while also posing as a security consultant. That's two for one! And, from what I hear, they do function as a breeding pair (somehow), so you too can raise gimps and crackwhores of your own!

We really don't need any more pictures. She's ugly enough as it is.

So reach deep and bid fast, folks. No home is complete without its set of bullshitting scam artists making a living from other folks' abilities. These items are sure to move quickly, so act now!

(These will also make a fine complement to your LBJ Crack Rocks.)

Counterfeit Computer Security Consultant (Item #187378743)

Current bid $9,999,999.00
Bid increment $100.00
Minimum bid $10,000,099.00

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Current minimum bid is 10,000,099.00    
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